He’s looking in her direction, not directly in her eyes though, he just can’t. Maybe he’s worried that his eyes will betray him, that his weakness will escape them and perform a frenzied dance to amuse her. Maybe he’s looking for answers that might be hovering around her, that’s why his pupils are shaking left and right.

But what good would answers do him at this point? He’s already at the altar, it’s too late, maybe his throat has already been slit by now, or else why would his mouth feel so dry? The roots of his hair are like tiny needles poking his head, giving rise to a burning sensation like no other.

An involuntary smile is escaping, but he cannot allow it, that would give it all. He can feel his lips shivering already, somehow he’s certain that if this silly smile, caused by the traumatizing shock, is allowed to surface, it will be accompanied by a tear, and a single teardrop is enough to pull a stream down his cheeks.

But then how will he breathe if he doesn’t let it all out? Is it really worth it, to stay composed, even though his heart is about to explode to shreds? Right now he feels he can tear her body to peaces with his bare hands if he chose to, but can he do so without screaming from the top of his lungs as he runs towards her?

He lost, he knows it, what makes him think that she still doesn’t? And that if he played his last card masterfully he would still have a chance? What difference would it make now?

What he feared the most is already happening, he can sense that he’s the center, all the wicked eyes around the globe are gazing at him, all the nasty fingers are pointing at him, and all the filthy mouths are about to chant a song of humiliation with notes of laughter.

But wait a minute, “A Laugh”, he thought to himself, “how silly of me…”, he concluded.

Suddenly, he burst out laughing, like a mad man, he laughed and laughed while she gazed at him with awe. He laughed to tears, then looked at her with the most cunning smile, “I told you from the beginning, that’s what you are… And that’s why I never believed you.”

He turned around with the most elegant step, and walked away with a shattered heart, and a victory.


Mohammad Mouselmani

Author Mohammad Mouselmani

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